Confidence-building is something I do with every dog who comes through my dog training program. It’s especially important for dogs with a nervous disposition, but every dog can stand to become more confident in their commands. To explain what I mean, I’m going to break down the three components of confidence building using an example. Let’s say your dog is generally pretty happy-go-lucky but becomes uncertain when new things happen—this is super common, so it’s a great example. The “new thing” that triggers uncertainty can be anything: new environment, new people, new dogs, new sounds, etc. Let’s talk about how to build your dog’s confidence in this scenario.
1 ) Teach obedience commands in a functional way.
I know obedience commands can feel useless. When they’re not taught in a functional way, they basically become glorified tricks—and that helps no one! There is a way to teach obedience commands that makes them helpful in real life scenarios. It requires teaching the command, proofing it for distance, duration and distraction, holding the dog accountable for the now-known skill, and proactively prompting your dog for this skill/pattern in situations where it can be useful. For a dog who is generally pretty laid back but becomes uncertain with the presence of “new things,” all of the basic commands—the place command, a sit/stay, a down/stay, the heel command, and recall—can be helpful depending on the context.
2) Use those patterns in times of uncertainty
In the example we’re using—a dog who becomes uncertain when “new things” are around—we can invoke the familiar obedience patterns to help him cope and help him feel more confident. Let’s say we’re in a new environment, like a new park with a playground. If our dog is freaked out just by the sight of the playground, we might stop at a distance and prompt the dog for a sit/stay or down/stay to take in the new scene. It can often help (and never hurts) to give a dog a second to take in the “new thing” without having to make decisions about it. By using the sit/stay or the down/stay in that moment, we’re providing guidance about what the dog should be doing in this moment of uncertainty, and if those patterns are familiar, that also brings a measure of comfort and a bit of confidence to the dog. “Oh yeah, I know this!” They might not know about that playground, but they do know how to do a down/stay, and that then puts you in a position to reward your dog for a job well done.
Once you’ve approached the playground you may also be able to use the place command to prompt your dog to get on it (if possible—not all playgrounds have that kind of set up). Your dog will be hesitant at first, but again, while he might not know about the playground he does know about the place command. He’s already confident with the place command (“I know how to do this!”) and by using it in a moment of uncertainty, we can help him feel more confident. (Click here to see a short video of one of my trainees building confidence at a playground!)
This approach is different from simply exposing him to the playground without utilizing his known skills and patterns. Exposure to the playground (observing it, walking around near it, even getting on it) might bring some measure of comfort once he realizes it’s not that big of a deal, but a much greater confidence boost comes from introducing known commands and patterns into the scenario that brings uncertainty. With known commands and patterns in the mix, he can feel confident in what he’s doing while he starts to realize that this thing that makes him uncertain isn’t such a big deal after all.
3) Build a leader-follower relationship
The above strategy works best when your dog respects and trusts you as his leader. The best way to build trust with a dog who is uncertain is to guide them and advocate for them. Guiding them means you take the responsibility of deciding what he should do with himself in those uncertain moments. For example, you’ll proactively prompt him for a command instead of “seeing how he reacts.” Your guidance will be best received by your dog if you have a leader-follower relationship (he’s used to taking your directions) and he respects you as that leader (you are consistent and clear and you hold him accountable for known skills). Advocating for your dog builds trust, and that’s extremely important for a dog who is uncertain. To continue with our example of a dog who is uncertain about a playground, advocating for him might look like taking things slow and not rushing into the scenario. It might look like recognizing what level of challenge he’s up for in that moment and calling it quits after a minor success instead of pushing him forward. It could also look like creating space for him to work through his uncertainty—i.e. you might ask other people not to pet or crowd him. This lets him know you’ve got his back and you aren’t going to add other potential stressors to the situation. All in all, if you’ve already established a strong leader-follower relationship with your dog, he will feel so much better about following your guidance in moments when he feels uncertain.
Last but not least…
Final thought: if your dog is currently expressing his uncertainty in an unhealthy way, you’re going to have to do more than build his confidence. You will first need to say “no” to the unhealthy behavior he’s currently displaying—growling, barking, lunging, showing teeth, etc. You can do all the confidence building in the world, but if you don’t explain to your dog that this reaction is off limits, then you’re going to hit a sticking point where your dog is no longer making progress (and you’ll probably hit it sooner rather than later). Once you start saying no, it’s extremely important that you become a strong advocate for your dog. Your dog is displaying these problematic and/or potentially dangerous behaviors because he feels he needs to handle the situation; if you’re going to insist that he no longer display these behaviors, then you also need to be ready to “handle” the situation for him by advocating for him. This often requires you to change your own behavior and/or mindset. You may need to firmly say “Don’t touch him, please” when strangers want to greet him, for example. It can be hard to tell people no, but it’s not fair to tell your dog “no” for a behavior he’s using to create space and then fail to create that space for him. For best results, say no to the bad behavior, start relentlessly advocating for your dog, start building his confidence, and continue advocating for him for as long as it takes.
