There is a lot of misunderstanding—and some disagreement—about what constitutes proper dog socialization. In this post I’ll focus on one aspect of socialization that’s typically overlooked: calm coexistence. We’ll talk about what calm coexistence is, how it’s helpful for socialization, and what it looks like.
What is calm coexistence?
“Calm coexistence” is a phrase I use to describe two or more dogs who are together, but not interacting. A great example is two dogs in the same room each holding the place command on their own place cot. They are together—they can see each other and smell each other from afar—but they’re not interacting. There’s no butt-sniffing, no play, and they aren’t touching.
Another good example of calm coexistence is walking together in a structured way, usually with separate handlers. For example, I often host pack walks for graduates of my training programs. We’ll all meet up at a given location and we’ll walk together, each dog in the heel position next to their own handler. The dogs are together, but not interacting with each other.
A third example of calm coexistence is holding down/stays on the patio of an outdoor restaurant. I often do this with friends. We’ll each bring one of our dogs and both dogs will hold a down/stay while we catch up and enjoy a meal. The dogs are together, but not interacting because each one is in command.
Calm coexistence and socialization
Calmly coexisting with other dogs is a great way to socialize your dog because it’s low risk. With both dogs in command and/or on leash and no one interacting, there is a very low risk that your dog will have any bad experiences. Calm coexistence is therefore a great way to help a dog recover after a bad experience with dogs. It’s also a great way to help dogs who are too excited when they see other dogs.
Finally, calm coexistence is a great way to safely build a relationship between two dogs who you eventually hope will become friends. Start by walking together (each with their own handler in the heel position), doing down/stays together and holding the place command together. Then, slowly allow some sniffing and then some interacting, so long as each dog is comfortable. For best results, interactions should be added in slowly and across multiple visits. Dog introductions can happen in one meeting but if one or more dogs has had bad experiences with other dogs or is known to be “too much” for other dogs, it would be better to have several no-pressure encounters (calm coexistence) before you allow them to interact.
